TALLSWAG

American Idols

Alicia Jay7 Comments
Marriage.JPG

The definition of an idol is an image or representation of a god used as an object of worship.

Wow. That explanation really hits you in your gut. The description in itself is revealing because right after you read it, something that is an idol in your life usually pops up. I know it did for me. What was it for you?

I actually have many that I’m trying to knock down one by one but for me personally the biggest culprit of them all is marriage.

Yes. The girl who is saving herself for marriage has made an idol of it. Not only did I worship the union, I literally looked at marriage as a source of joy. I just pined over the day when it would happen. I felt that I would be complete, I would be truly loved and to keep it 100 I would be able to have sex non-stop.

Girl. Stop it.

In actuality marriage will never complete you, your husband will inevitably let you down because he is human and sex isn’t the sole purpose of marriage. You are worshiping something that will never give you fulfillment.

I was giving the attainment of marriage a higher priority in my life than my relationship with God. I just knew those vows would unlock the life I had always envisioned when in actuality nothing BUT God can orchestrate the purpose of our walk in this life. He is the only true source of joy and everything we do is to bring glory to His purpose including matrimony.

I was making my future husband an idol, I was making sex an idol, I was making the actual walk down the aisle an idol…it was all wrapped up in one ugly roadblock that was hindering me from the only relationship that truly matters and that is the one that I have with God. My order was completely out of whack.

 Seek first the kingdom of God and his righteousness, and all these things will be added to you (Matthew 6:33).

Now, should you enjoy all of the things that are encompassed in marriage? You better believe it. However it should not be the source, it should be a stunning byproduct of the relationship that you have with God. It should strengthen your purpose and give it power but in no way does it complete who you are and who He is to you.

For example, in my humble opinion, your husband should lead you towards God but shouldn’t be a god. He shouldn’t be held higher than Him. You should love your husband and cherish him, but in no way should he be your source of joy. Fostering it is one thing, being the cause is quite another. He (as will you) will fail. He is human. Disappointment is any relationship is inevitable. Making him an idol in many ways seals the deal on divorce because no matter what he does, he will never live up to that standard. Does that mean you accept anything your husband does? Absolutely not but you can’t expect god level things from him as he is not, nor will ever be God.

No one can serve two masters, for either he will hate the one and love the other, or he will be devoted to the one and despise the other (Matthew 6:24).

The craziest part about this whole marriage-idol thing is that I was really waiting on joy. It’s scary to think about that because what if marriage isn’t in God’s plan for me? Would I never experience joy? What a catastrophically devastating thought.

God’s joy surpasses your circumstances. It should be constant whether single, married, sick, healthy, poor or rich. Nothing earthly will satisfy the joy of God in your heart.

Nothing. For the Kingdom of God is not a matter of what we eat or drink, but of living a life of goodness and peace and joy in the Holy Spirit (Romans 14:17).

He gives you joy in every facet of your life…even in the trials.

Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance (James 1:2-3).

At the end of the day do I still want all of these things? Ya best believe I do but now my focus is completely different. My eyes are set on Him and what He wants in my life.

And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus (Philippians 4:7).

No longer do I look for earthly things to satisfy what God has already fulfilled in my heart. My picture is painted with His colors, not mine. Knowing that He works all of it for my good creates a joy that I will truly never comprehend, yet I am incredibly thankful for the sacrifice it took to make it. My direction and purpose truly are not my own and I have to trust what He permits within the path He has set for me.

Jump For my Love

Alicia Jay1 Comment

Jumpsuits.

The word alone sends a tall girl into a sweat. Say the word jump and a literal tear forms in our eyes. From few and far between to cut completely wrong, it's hard for us to find one and to find one that we like is a miracle. 

Well lookie here...I think she found one!

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This bad mamma jamma is from the current CURATD X Long Tall Sally collection and it does not disappoint.

If you have been reading my blog for awhile, you know I love comfort in my clothing and this jumpsuit definitely fits the bill. It's completely chic but feels like you are walking around in PJ's all day. That's a win in my book. 

I chose some sneaks from LTS as well. I love the blush color. They go with anything and in this case really set the look off. If you don't want to stay sporty, add your favorite wedges and pair of statement earrings. Boom! A whole new look.

This is just one of those pieces that is ready to go. You literally put it on and you are ready for the day. It's a great piece from a great collection. Check out this jumpsuit and the rest of the collection HERE.

Have a fabulous day gorgeous! Keep that energy around you high. Don't let anyone else's bad day bring you down, Remember, you are the gatekeeper. Keep your space beautiful just like you:)

No Limit

Alicia Jay2 Comments

The minute I saw the whole denim meets fishnet situation...I had to have it. I love the way they crash together but of course my search for tall fishnets wasn't very fruitful. I mean, it's hard enough to find the tall denim part, let alone fishnets that are long enough for these long legs hunni! Guess who came to my rescue?,,,

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ASOS baby! I can't say enough about their tall line. I squeal every time I visit the page because there is always something new that is just what this tall girl ordered. My version of hitting the lotto would be one of everything in ASOS tall for life. Publishers Clearing House taint got nothing on that. Ok, ok. I would take the money too but I know you feel me.

Their fishnet leggings are just the right length and fit underneath denim beautifully. These beautiful jeans are from ASOS too. As you can see, they are long and have crazy good details like the hi-low hem. I wear these with everything. 

Oh...hey hair. How you doin?

And let us not forget to talk about this cropped jacket from Long Tall Sally. It is sublime. It's cropped in the right spot, the arms are long enough and it's super lightweight. This amazing little denim jacket is spot on for spring days and summer nights. It's part of the new CURATD X LTS line, which is equally as beautiful as this jacket.  

I'm super happy that I found both the fishnet and cropped look in tall but don't you ever think that a style isn't for you because you can't find it. If it isn't out there...get to designing! If you can't sew, find someone who can and create your vision together.

Do not...I repeat...do not, let the limitations of the industry stop you from living your style life. Style is an expression of your unique creation...dress accordingly!

Worth the Wait

Alicia JayComment

One of my favorite channels, CENTRIC, interviewed me for their Designed for You series. We talked about a lot of things including my virginity. I definitely got real about waiting for the right one and can't wait to hear what you think!

Side note: this also made me miss my weave so don't be surprised if you see her soon lol. I love my natural hair but a break would be nice. Naturals...I know you feel me! These beautiful curls take work hunni!

Click on the image above to watch the interview. Thanks for listening to my virgin view:) Have a fabulous day and an even better weekend!

All Good

Alicia Jay1 Comment

What's crazy about this outfit is...none of it is new. I literally had every piece in my closet.

I think we often overlook what we already have. We see everything in pieces, not knowing that when put together, they create something beautiful. In this case, it was an outfit but how would this apply to your life?

Life is a stunning mess of ups and downs. The highs fuel the lows but it's hard to appreciate them when you are in the middle of your struggles. Personally, I rest in Romans 8:28. God is always at work for us, gathering everything that happens and crafting it for those who love Him.

What a beautiful promise!

With all of the things that happen in life, apart, they may not make sense...but when you let Him bring all of the pieces together, it creates a purpose driven life that we could never comprehend or accomplish on our own.

Don't get it twisted, letting Him lead is not an easy thing. I am notorious for wanting to control every single step of my life. From relationships to occupation to wardrobe, I am traditionally a control freak. I have put my plans in front of God's plans for long enough. In the last 2 months I have relinquished this control (for the most part, admittedly I have my moments) and the peace that I have received is nothing less than astounding.

This doesn't mean you stop working hard. You must move your feet. I am putting in the work but seeking His guidance, listening to Him and going after what He wants (even when I don't understand the move). His plan is greater than anything I ever could compose. 

Top - TTYA for Long Tall Sally/Skirt - Thrifted/Belt - H&M/Shoes - Christian Siriano for Payless Makeup and Photography: Nikki Notarte 

Top - TTYA for Long Tall Sally/Skirt - Thrifted/Belt - H&M/Shoes - Christian Siriano for Payless

Makeup and Photography: Nikki Notarte 

Let Go. Let God. You hear this often but it's absolutely true. Stop looking at things as they are and start letting Him put them together. Trust that He is putting every piece to work for you. Have faith that He has it all in control. You are a vessel that was created to accomplish great things. Let Him steer the ship! 

With all your heart you must trust the Lord and not your own judgment. Always let him lead you, and he will clear the road for you to follow. [Proverbs 3: 5-6]