I Give Up

Admittedly my love life has kind of sucked. There have been a lot of lows and some amazing moments which enabled me to completely understand what love is and why it is so important to have it in some capacity in your life. I have toiled over the reasons why it is taking me so long to find it. There have been tears, confusion and often times sheer anger that it has not come my way. I have had years of constant control along this road that have led me to one life-changing conclusion...

I don't have control over it at all.

Yes. My steering of the love ship has been fruitless because God is the one who should be steering it. While it may be His choice for me to be single, there is a reason for it and no matter what I do, His plan for my life will prevail. There isn't a worry, a moment of anger or a pit of confusion that will stop it, so why am I wasting that energy? Quite simply...

I. GIVE. UP.

That's right. I completely and totally give up the control to God. I lay it down right in front of Lord knowing that it was always yours in the first place. You have merely been waiting for the moment for me to give it to you. IT IS YOURS!

I will not toil over it, run after it or try to figure it out. I will not plan it out in my head or orchestrate a picture in my mind of who it will be. When it comes to love, if it doesn't come from you, I don't want it. Point. Blank. Period.

I am completely open to your picture of it. I know that love will come in an unlikely package and it will be the best one that I have ever opened. God, I know that if it is in your will, it is you and you alone that will make it happen. Your will for love in my life be done.

And really...this should translate to EVERYTHING in our lives. If God doesn't send it, return that bad boy right to the sender. He orchestrates everything in our lives for our good because we love Him. Control in everything is not yours, it is HIS.

This is undoubtedly easier said than done but try your hardest to take a breath, drop that elephant of anxiety from your chest and rest in His perfect timing.  The picture He paints is different for each and every one of us but one thing is for sure...they are ALL masterpieces. 

SHIRT - God is Dope | Shoes - Target (shown in size 12, sorry out of stock, similar HERE) | Ankle Pants - ASOS Tall (similar HERE) | Crossbody - Forever 21 | Earrings - Candid Art

Photo credit - Lakeela Smith

Say My Name

Tall suit - ASOS/Tall Bodysuit - ASOS/Necklace - Candid Art/Shoes - Calvin Klein via Nordstrom Rack

Photography and makeup - Nikki Notarte

Today I presented a concept at work that I have been cultivating for over 2 years now. It was the 4th time I had pitched the idea and I’m happy to report that it was well received. I was and am elated that my idea will go in to motion but I realized something about my presentation today that was and is incredibly disturbing…

I never put my name on it.

Somehow I believed that my idea that I had poured into, crafted and toiled to bring to the surface didn’t deserve my name.

Yes. This could be an honest mistake but “mistakes” like these often have a deeper meaning.

I, like probably every woman on the planet, have had to fight at times for my opinion to be taken seriously because I am a woman. I have been undervalued simply because of my gender. There have even been times when the good ol boys club purposefully excluded me from information that was imperative to my success. And the list unfortunately goes on…

All of these things are hurtful and silently damaging to the strongest of women. They chip away at you and if you aren’t careful dry rot your confidence. You start second guessing yourself and before you know it, adopt the exact insecurities they are dealing and leave your name off of your masterpiece.

What we need to realize is that the club rejects us for a reason; we are a clear and present threat. The people that discriminate against women, both consciously and subconsciously, do it because THEY are insecure. It’s a symptom of their sick ideology. It’s not for you to understand but it’s certainly something that you can’t consume. Leave it right there on the table.

I say this as someone who let it get to me, gave in from time to time and believed the lies to her core. I let them use my strength against me but NO MAS.

I will stand up for myself, know I am fully capable, continually voice my opinions and protect my space at all costs. This woman is here to roar and most certainly will use a permanent marker to write her full government name on anything she accomplishes.

Get out those sharpies ladies…it’s time to sign your names like you have never signed before! We have a lot of ground to cover. I say we start with their foreheads ;-)

Casual 101

Large Leather Shopper - Long Tall Sally/Oversized Dress Shirt - Collage Clothing Lounge/Rockstar Super Skinny Tall Ankle Pant - Old Navy (33.5" inseam)/MIA Sparkle Studded Loafers - Nordstrom Rack (size 12)/Sassy Brassy Neck Piece - Candid Art/Watch - Windsor Store/Chain Bracelet - Forever 21

Photo credit: Eric Rodriguez

As many of you know, I am the Game Operations Manager for the Golden State Warriors.  As many of you also know...WE ARE IN THE PLAYOFFS!  If you didn't know, now you do.

I say all of that to say this, I am working my tail off!  It's a GREAT busy, but busy none-the-less.  Needless to say, when I am not working, I am doing as little as possible and SUPER casual. 

While we all know I love a fierce heel, after standing in those bad boys all game, these days in my off time, you are more then likely going to catch me in a flat (a fabulous one of course). I'm a huge fan of these MIA flats that I picked up for under $50 at Nordstrom Rack. They are comfy and blinged out. What's not to love?

The oversized dress shirt from Collage Clothing Lounge is one of my go-to casual shirts.  It's one of those "feels like pajamas but doesn't look like pajamas" kind of shirts. Win-Win situation.

One thing I always have to have in my casual fit is a pop of something.  Whether it be color, texture and/or print it must add an extra something to the equation. These tall ankle, animal print skinnies from Old Navy do the trick.

What about the frosting for a casual look?  I say go big or go home. I chose to go chains and more chains for this look but whatever you choose, in my humble opinion, do it big.

And for the piece de resistance, THE HANDBAG! My new love from Long Tall Sally (Yes. They have accessories too!).  It holds everything, is very well made and the color is perfect for this season and seasons to come. Want something a little louder?  It comes in red too.  Approved investment piece.

Now that you have the 101 on my casual look, what's yours?

It's all about YOU

Eeek! I need a tan STAT.

Now that that is out of the way, isn't this jumper from Height Goddess fabulous! It's a very simple way to look absolutely chic.  One step and you are good to go.  Not to mention it's cut just for us so no camel toe.

As you can see my back is out.  This would have never happened during my less confident years.  I was so busy trying to 'shrink' myself that showing skin was out of the question.

Clearly it's not a problem anymore lol. I wear what I want to, when I want to.  I would never tell anyone what to do, but I hope you do too.  You are an amazing, beautiful person that should never be ashamed to express yourself in the exact way that YOU want to.  It may not be a backless jumper, it may not be 5" heels but never be ashamed of what you have or how to show it to the world.

I know. Easier said than done. Trust and know it took me a long time to find my real self.  I had so many people telling me what was pretty, ugly, normal, right, wrong etc. that I didn't know what I really wanted let alone embraced the gifts that God gave me.  Now that I know, I will do everything in my power to make sure that those who don't, do.

Wear YOU. Be YOU. Love YOU.

Jumper - Height Goddess/Earrings - Candid Art/Shoes - Nine West

Photo credit: Kate Bowyer (YBowyer Photography)

Independence Day

I will never forget the day another tall woman came up to me and told me that I shouldn't be wearing red because it would bring MORE attention to me (it was a super cute shirt btw). I was baffled, astonished, mad and then sad. Before I could even react, she was off. Clearly she tried to paint her insecurities on me. Thank God they didn't stick.  I hope they aren't sill stuck with her.

I am all about red (really any color) this season.  It highlights your amazing presence.  I LOVE these pants from Ann Taylor LOFT (10T). They are super flattering and the fabric is comfy (it's almost like wearing sweatpants).  The pants were long enough with flats (36") but I wanted to wear them with the platforms (Payless pick-ups) so I had a tailor bring them down (a good tailor should become your best friend.  I wish I could legally adopt mine).

The shirt is also Ann Taylor LOFT.  I really bought it because I had a promo code and needed $10 more dollars to make the $20 off quota (I live for a sale).  So really, I feel like I almost got the shirt for free (which we know isn't really true but I'm going to roll with it).  However, I wear the shirt all the time.  With jeans, skirts, suits, you get the drift.  Most of the time I keep it tied but I also leave it long for a "tie" look.

Last but not least, my baby, the vintage blue handbag.  Can you believe I picked it up for $12!?! I was as shocked as you are.  I stumbled upon this watch repair shop by my office that doubles as a vintage handbag shop (SCORE) and have been going weekly ever since.  

I say all of that to say this. No matter what ANYONE says, rock whatever you want to rock when you want to rock it. That is all.

PS. Don't sleep on the bracelet.  It was the perfect period to the fit and is a Candid Art origiNAL. 

Shirt and pants - Ann Taylor LOFT/Handbag - Vintage Corelli/Bracelet - courtesy of Candid Art/Shoes - Payless

Photo credit: Kate Bower (Ybowyer Photography)  

CanDid Art Trunk Show

Accessories can take an outfit from 'nice' to FIERCE.  CanDid Art definitely does that.  I am a HUGE fan and wish I could make it to the first ever CanDid Art Trunk Show.  Check out all the details in the video below:)

My fav is the shoulder chain...check out my video on how to SWAG it right:

Can't make it to the trunk show? Go to CanDid Art right now to order today! Trust me...you will LOVE everything you order:)